Talking NFL

“There are a lot of things that I learned from Bill throughout my career, but I think the one thing that I continue throughout my life is that want to be perfect. The need for perfection. He pushed me and pushed us, especially the quarterback position which he was so proud of, to want to be perfect. And if you missed perfect, you end up with great, and that he could handle, nothing else. He taught me to be the same way.”

- Joe Montana, Former Quarterback of the 49ers

“He’s been such a resource. He’s been a 49er for a long time and needless to say the key figure in the dynasty developed here, He loves being involved. It energizes him to play with draft picks and watch the football team practice. It’s in his blood and always will be.”

- Steve Mariucci, Former Head Coach of the 49ers

”When I came here [in 1979], I just wanted to build a team that would win more than it would lose…I never envisioned the 49ers of the past three decades would become one of the great franchises in the history of sports. I’m proud that I played a part in it. I walk away knowing I orchestrated it, but also having a special feeling for everyone who worked and played here. We bonded together. It was like Camelot.”

- Bill Walsh

RIP, Coach.

(thanks to Bryan Hersh, creator of 49ers Paradise for the quotes.)

NFL, quotes, Bill Walsh, we lost a great man yesterday

With training camps in full gear and just over a month to go before the start of the season, things are going to start getting hectic around here. So I figured now was a good “calm before the storm” moment to take a look back at some of the earlier work (from conception through Draft Day) published here on Talking NFL.

Some of it is funny, some of it is rather bitter, and some of it is terrible. Believe it or not, there’s even some football analysis buried in there. Anyways, hope there’s something in there you enjoy:

- Motor City Moron

- The Origin of Draft Day Berman (posted on Awful Announcing)

Also, I’d like to take a moment and thank all of the regulars readers that keep stopping by & adding comments, like Dennis D, Pudge, Arik, Ryan, Annie, Ham, Judge Smails, Tennis Coach, Tracey, Letia, OHSucker, DaveP, Dana, Desertboltfan, The Moose, and of course, T-Bone Cortez. Whether you enjoy reading the site, or just like to let me know when I stink up the joint, I appreciate the feedback.

Lastly, I would like to thank Kim, Steve, Chrispian, and the entire crew over at 451Press for keeping Talking NFL up & running, and for giving me the chance to write about football, something I’ve wanted to do for years.

(and since the band is now playing, I’ll look to exit stage left- wait, no, stage right…wait! I forgot to thank my personal masseuse-)

Talking NFL, best of, worst of, thank you readers, thank you 451Press

…Sports Illustrated published a cover story about pit bulls, and the growing problem of illegal dogfighting activity in the United States.

Quoting from the article:

This loathsome “sport” is, by most accounts, more widespread than ever in the U.S. At the same time it is even less humane, having passed from the hands of the old-time ”gentlemen” breeders into the mitts of the borderline sadists. Once primarily a rural dementia, dogfighting has become a city problem as well, the outgrowth of the popularity of pit bulls.

I bring this up, because both Senator John Kerry and Senator Robert Byrd were members of Congress back in 1987. The same two senators who have recently stepped up to the soapbox and blasted us all with fire, damnation and other general forms of flatulence regarding the Vick situation. Senator Byrd talked of reserving the “hottest places in hell” for those who took on such “barbaric” activities, while Senator Kerry wrote an impassioned letter to Commissioner Goodall, demanding Vick’s suspension.

…so where was this bluster 20 years ago? One can only assume they were not SI subscribers. Maybe they just bought the swimsuit edition.

Not that any of us should be surprised by the lack of action up until now by these two blowhards. Our Democratic leaders seem to have a habit of waiting for situations to pass a tipping point before finally making a stand.

Speaking of which, don’t you boys have a few more all-nighters to pull regarding that Iraq situation? Why don’t you let the NFL worry about Vick; right now you’ve got bigger fish to fry…

And with that, I’m taking off the political/serious writer cap & throwing it back in the closet for another 6 months. Back to football and fart jokes on Monday.

NFL, Michael Vick, dogfighting, Atlanta Falcons, Senator John Kerry, Senator Robert Byrd, 20 year slumber

We at Talking NFL would like to assure all of our readers that none of the cheerleaders in this video were actually injured. We have no idea whether that’s true or not, but it will help us all feel better as we’re laughing our asses off at them…

cheerleaders, band camp, bloopers, that last girl won a Darwin Award

With training camps opening up all across the National Football League this week, you may be wondering what type of coverage you’ll be getting from the Talking NFL team over here at 451 Press.

The answer:  not much.

Couple of reasons:  (1) The big guns (ESPN, SI, AOL Fanhouse, all conveniently linked over there on the lower right…lower, keep going…next to the Subscribe section…there you go!) have that nonsense covered, with multiple reporters on site to take wild stabs in the dark regarding who might become a breakout player this season.  Me?  I’d rather stay home & make fart jokes.

(2) The only real news that normally comes out of training camp is bad news.  As in “player XXX ruptured his ACL/MCL/ASS and will miss the season, destroying the hopes of all team YYY fans.”  Man is THAT some depressing shit.  Again, fart jokes it is…

So you enjoy Peter King’s coverage (complete with reviews of Starbucks egg nog triple lattes across this great land of ours), while I provide you with one image you mercifully will not see again this summer:  Bill Parcells in shorts.

Tuna, you sexy beast you!

NFL, Training Camp, fat men in little shorts

The NFC Norris Division is home to some of the proudest teams in NFL history.  When you hear the name, think of Papa Bear Halas & The Monsters of the Midway; Bobby Layne and the 3 NFL titles won by the Lions in the 50’s.  Coach Lombardi and the Packers dynasty of the 60’s; Alan Page, Jim Marshall and the rest of the Purple People Eaters.

But don’t think about the 2007 version of these teams.  Ugh…

Yes, the Bears just won the NFC Championship, but I’m predicting they will fall victim to the NFC Super Bowl Curse that took last year off on the Seahawks (when asked about taking a year off, the NFC Super Bowl Curse responded that it just needed to refocus and spend some quality time with it’s family.  Now it’s wants to be paid Madden Curse type money, so it’s back with a vengeance…).  As for the Lions, Packers and Vikings?  Last season they went a collective 2-10 against AFC East teams.  Oh my.

So here’s the big question:  does the Bears impending demise mean that a certain aging quarterback will get one more shot at post-season glory? Well, sort of…

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While reporting on a story in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution which indicates the state of Virginia will pursue their own indictment of Michael Vick, ESPN News anchor Cindy Brunson had an ever so slight mispronunciation of the Falcons quarterback’s name (10 seconds in)…

Honestly, can you blame her?

(thanks to AOL Fanhouse for the post and YouTube user sacoo2 for the video)

Michael Vick, NFL, YouTube, Atlanta Falcons, media, just telling it like it is

Today ESPN’s Chris Mortensen is reporting that Indianapolis Colts left tackle Tarik Glenn has informed the team he will retire and will not report for training camp. Glenn has been a mainstay on the Colts’ offensive line for 10 years and been a key to the excellent pass protection afforded quarterback Peyton Manning.

Mortensen goes onto say that there are no other accomplished left tackles on the Indianapolis roster, and few quality veterans remaining among the free agents who are still looking for work.

When asked to comment on this news, Talking NFL had this to say:

(deep breath)

Ah…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

(deep breath)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

“I hate your blind side pass protection options, Peyton.”

Indianapolis Colts, Tarik Glenn, Peyton Manning, retire, Christmas comes early for Pats fans

…with PR-free translation in bold.

“We know you’re anxious to hear more from us regarding the indictment of Michael Vick and its implications to the Falcons.”

Personally, I’d rather have an enema with Texas Pete hot sauce administered by a nurse name Butch than talk about this train wreck…

“Please be assured that we are working diligently on exploring our options and getting the right people involved in this situation.”

I have 500 lawyers plowing through Vick’s contract as we speak. If there’s a way for us to get out of it, we’re gonna f–king find it.

“This is an emotionally charged and complicated matter. There are a wide range of interests and legal issues that need to be carefully considered as we move ahead, including our need to respect the due process that Michael is entitled to.”

Did I mention that contract was for $130 million? Did I mention I would have been better off spending it on hookers and cake? I’d like to sic the dogs on him. Wait–

“Given the differing perspectives and strong feelings around this issue, we probably won’t make everyone happy; we are committed to doing the right thing. As the owner of this club that’s ultimately my responsibility.”

We’re screwed no matter what we do.

“In the meantime, know that I’m saddened and distressed about this not for myself, but for our fans and community who have been so loyal to us. We will do our very best to earn your support.”

And on that note, may I present your new starting quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons, Joey Harrington! (No, season ticket holders may not get a refund. How’s that for sadness and distress?)

Arthur Blank, Michael Vick, cutting through the BS

“Boats. Planes. Cars. Clothes. Blondes. Brunettes. Redheads. All so pretty. I love them all.”

A) Tom Brady
B) Chad Johnson
C) Joe Namath
D) Jeff Garcia

Answer after the jump.

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The Atlanta Falcons off-season continued to go to the (well, you know) yesterday when Michael Vick was indicted by a federal grand jury in connection to charges of dogfighting at his property in Smithfield, Virginia.

If convicted, Vick could face up to six years behind bars, along with a $350,000 fine.  The NFL has released a statement on the indictment that includes the following:

Michael Vick’s guilt has not yet been proven, and we believe that all concerned should allow the legal process to determine the facts.

…and I’m sure Goodell (a.k.a. the All-Powerful Tyrant) will show just as much compassion to Vick as he did Pacman Jones and Chris Henry once the facts start piling up.

Lucky for Falcons fans, a philosophical Dante Culpepper was just released, clearing the way for an ex-Dolphin quarterback reunion in Atlanta with Joey H!

…complete with 6-10 record.

Michael Vick, Dogfighting, Indictment, adios Ron Mexico, where’s Matt Schaub when you really need him

By signing DE Dwight Freeney to a record six-year, $72 million contract on Friday (that included a jaw-dropping $30 million signing bonus), the Colts not only solved their biggest off-season problem, but created multiple issues for their fiercest rivals in the not so distant future.

Since this deal dwarfs those of comparable Pro-Bowlers Jason Taylor (six-years, $45 million) and Richard Seymour ($24 million in bonuses), the bar has officially been reset for defensive lineman.  So guys like Julius Peppers in Carolina and Will Smith in New Orleans are sending thank you cards (or strippers; if it were me, I’d prefer strippers) to Freeney, because come this time next year, it will be their turn to cash in.

Past that, look at the situation for the Patriots, who currently have one of the best defensive lines in football.  Ty Warren had a breakthrough year in ‘06, and will be a free agent after the ‘08 season.  One year later, both nose tackle Vince Wilfork and defensive end Seymour will be free agents as well.  Freeney’s stratospheric contract (which averages out to over $1 million per sack, just so you know) all but guarantees that New England will have to choose between who stays and who goes via free agency.

A deal that strengthens your team and potentially weakens your toughest competitor?  Well, played Mr. Polian, well played.  Dickhead.

Dwight Freeney, Indianapolis Colts, new contract, boatload o cash, nope I’m not bitter at all

If you’re a football fan that lives in, west or south of Pennsylvania, and are all ready sick to death of the Yankees/Red Sox rivalry in baseball, then I’ve got some bad news for you.  Because the renewed Border Wars between the Patriots and Jets are about to get bludgeoned to death by NFL previews in sports newspapers, TV shows and blogs everywhere (obviously, I’m not above said bludgeoning…).  That being said, it’s with good reason that this is the #1 story line in the AFC East…

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Let’s hope Brady looks a bit less awkward under center for the Browns than he does onstage with Bret Michaels & company…

God bless him, he Don’t Need Nothin’ but a Good Time.

Division previews start on Monday. Have a good one, kids…

Brady Quinn, Poison, air guitar, headbang, have fun now Brady, because the AFC North will be brutal

Here’s Part 2 of the Top 10 Fantasy Studs for 2007.  (click here for Part 1)

(6) Running Back - Frank “The Tank” Gore (49ers)

Full Disclaimer:  I nabbed this sleeper in the 4th round of my fantasy draft last year, so this pick is entirely about stroking myself.  Nevertheless, this kid is the real deal.  1,695 rushing  yards last year (3rd in the league), and a ridiculous 5.4 yard per carry average.  Plus he’s only 24 years old, and should continue to be the center piece of an improving 49er offensive scheme for years to come.

Yes, he only had 8 rushing TD’s, and he lost 6 fumbles.  I think the 49ers offensive is going to be more robust this season, which will only help his TD totals, and the fumbles are not a major issue (yes, I’m writing that to convince myself that it’s not a big deal…man, I wish they’d never outlawed Stickum…).

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