Talking NFL

I have no idea who NBC’s Andrea Kremer will interview after the Bengals vs Steelers game on Sunday night, but I can wait to watch it! The woman has been on a roll the last two weeks…

In this first video after the Patriots whalopped the Bills 56-10, Andrea gives Tom Brady a look that says just a bit more than “see you next Sunday!”

Hat tip: Zubaz Pants Sports

In her defense, can you blame her?! I’m straighter than the North Pole, but I probably would have started the interview off with, “Tom, you just threw 5 touchdown passes, you’re on pace to shatter the record for most TD passes in a season, and…oh God, I’ve just wet myself…”.

Last week, she had the following interview with Wes Welker cut short by the devious Coach Belichick:

To summarize; Andrea called Wes a dog, then Wes called Andrea a man. I guess they’re even now…

NFL, Andrea Kremer, Tom Brady, interviews, awkwardness

Needs salt.

(AP Photo: Mike Thomas)

Dallas Cowboys, Terrell Owens, LOLNFL

Call tonight’s match-up Super Bowl 42.625.  The 10-1 Packers will take their Brett Favre magic and  tenacious D into Texas Stadium to take on the 10-1 Cowboys led by the Tony Romo & T.O. show.  It should be an epic game, with the winner claiming the inside track to the NFC Championship.

Too bad most of the country won’t be able to see it.

What’s most amazing (and nauseating) about this ongoing tiff between the NFL Network and major cable providers like Time Warner Cable and Comcast is the fact that this stalemate has been going on for over a year now.  The Britney Spears/K-Fed custody battle is being run more efficiently than this clusterf–k.

I shant go into the sordid details here; plenty of other sites have gone there all ready.  Rather, let’s take a look at the bottom line, specifically the annual revenue for the major companies involved:

National Football League: $7 Billion (2006)
Time Warner Cable:  $9.498 Billion (2005)
Comcast: $24.97 Billion (2007)

Source:  Wikipedia

So these guys bring in over $40 billion a year combined, yet somehow can’t work out this arrangement.  Hard to pick a side on this debate when each contestant looks like this:

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Yesterday, the New England Patriots said hello again to their longest tenured player, but also said goodbye to a key starter on defense.

As the Boston Herald’s John Tomase reported, 15-year veteran Troy Brown was activated from the from the physically unable to perform list.  However, linebacker Rosevelt Colvin was placed on injured reserve, ending his season.

The addition of Troy Brown to the active roster may not seem like a huge move, but it will bring a smile to the faces of Patriots fans everywhere.  The consummate team player, Troy has been a staple with the team since ‘93, and was a crucial member of all three Super Bowl teams.  With six other receivers on the roster, look for Troy to play more on special teams and defense; he’s played as a defensive back in the past, and judging by the way the Patriots were carved up by the Eagles they could use some help in that area.

Speaking of the defense, the unit suffered a big loss when Rosevelt Colvin was placed on IR.  Veteran linebacker Chad Brown will take his place, but there’s a significant talent drop-off between the two players.  Colvin had 27 total tackles, 4 sacks, 3 forced fumbles and an interception before getting injured against the Eagles on Sunday.  

While his injury has yet to be disclosed, ironically this marks the second time that Colvin has suffered a season ending against the Eagles.  In 2003, Rosey sustained a fracture in his left hip in the second game of the season, which nearly threatened his career.

Can the Patriots survive losing Colvin?  Yes, but now they’re precariously thin at the linebacker position, and older veterans like Junior Seau and Tedy Bruschi will have to play more snaps.  

The road to an unbeaten season and Super Bowl 42 just got a bit rockier for the Pats.

New England Patriots, Rosevelt Colvin, Troy Brown

Today was a truly tragic day in the National Football League; Sean Taylor, the All-Pro safety for the Washington Redskins, passed away after being shot in his Miami home early Monday.  He was 24 years old, and leaves behind his fiancee and 18-month-old daughter.

There has been an outpouring of grief and sympathy all across the country in the wake of this tragedy.  Below are links to some of the many articles that were published today (either through media outlets or blogs) regarding the loss of this young man:

- Dan Zirin of Sports Illustrated

- Mike Wise of the Washington Post

- Skin Patrol of Hogs Haven

- Anthony Amobi of Fastball Fans

- PennSkinsFan of Hail Redskins

- Flubby of Kissing Suzy Kolber

- Dave Zirin of The Starting Five

Rest in Peace, Sean.

Washington Redskins, Sean Taylor

Asante Samuel tacks on a few million bucks to his off-season price tag.

Kudos to the Eagles for putting up one heck of a fight last night against the Patriots.  Specifically to defensive coordinator Jim Johnson who put together a hell of a game plan that got good pressure on Brady and shut down Randy Moss for most of the night.

Thank goodness A.J. Feeley woke up in the 4th quarter and remembered that he’s not Brett Favre…the quest for the undefeated season continues!

New England Patriots, Philadelphia Eagles, dodged a bullet there

In the wake of the Vikings 41-17 demolition of the Giants this afternoon in the Meadowlands, the home town fans must be hearing Sonny & Cher’s “I Got You Babe” over and over and over again in their heads…

After a six-game winning streak, the Giants were at 6-2 halfway through the season.  Just like last year.  But they’ve lost 2 of the last 3, and fans can’t help but think back to last season, when they went 2-6 over the last eight games to finish 8-8.

What really killed the Giants last season was inconsistent play from quarterback Eli Manning down the stretch.  Well, he was consistent against the Vikings; as in, he consistently threw the ball to them for 4 interceptions, three of which were returned for touchdowns (the fourth was brought back inside the Giants 10 yard line).

(Understatement of the game by FOX announcer & former Cowboy Daryl Johnson:  “Well, Eli’s just not seeing the field real well right now.”)

The Giants defense did help matters either, with sloppy tackling throughout the game.  Especially on this Chester Taylor 8-yard TD run.

The Giants are 7-4, and still have the inside track on the first NFC Wild-Card spot.  But they are trending downward just as they did last year, so you’ll forgive Giants fans if they feel like they’re getting taken for a ride by Coach Coughlin and company (similar to when Bill Murray took Punxsutawney Phil on a “joy ride”):

Quick tangent:  I’ve actually been to Punxsutawney for Groundhog’s Day, and it looks nothing like the way it does in the film.  It’s in woods out in the middle of nowhere and you have to take buses in to get there.  There’s no foofy gazebo or little band, just a ton of diehards and Penn State kids drinking all night.  Which, for my money, was more fun that way (call me old-fashioned, I guess…)

New York Giants, Minnesota Vikings, Eli Manning, Punxsutawney, Groundhog Day

When the NFL decided to add a 3rd game to the Thanksgiving day schedule, I’m sure part of the reasoning was that it would increase the odds of having at least one good match up. Sadly, that was not the case yesterday: every single contest was a blowout, over by the 3rd quarter at the latest.

Let’s take a look at each game & compare the ugliness of watching it to a comparable awkward moment you may have shared with a family member on turkey day:

Packers 37 - Lions 26

Having lost their last three games, Detroit is beginning to show their true colors (and they are not pretty like a rainbow). At least this match-up had some history to it. Brett Favre’s storybook season continued as he threw for 3 scores, broke a franchise record with 20 straight completions, and surpassed Dan Marino’s league record for most career games with three or more touchdown passes (63). (Speaking of which, did you know that every time Brett Favre breaks a Dan Marino record, an angel gets it’s wings?)

Unfortunately, this game wins the dubious distinction of “not as close as the score indicates”. The Packers were up 34-12 early in the fourth quarter, and though the Lions made a late charge, it came up well short.

Thanksgiving moment watching this game was similar to: Weird Grandpa Joe showing up an hour early and using the time to tell you all about his recent hip replacement surgery.

Cowboys 34 - Jets 3

Karma continues to kick the ever loving crap out of Coach Man-Not-So-Genius. Oh, and remember those preseason concerns about young Kellen Clemens? Well, nevermind (for now at least). That interception to Terence Newman for a TD was just hawful.

Of course, I’d be ashamed of any Cowboys fan who was able to enjoy that victory. You know full well that the Cowboys ran up the score by throwing a garbage-time TD on the Jets with just 6 minutes left in the game. Honestly, what were the starters still doing in there? Where’s the sportsmanship? Whatever will we tell the children?!

[/bad impersonation of d-bag sports writer]

Thanksgiving moment watching this game was similar to: Losing in the pre-meal backyard football game to these guys:

Colts 31 - Falcons 13

Joey Harrington and Roddy White gave the beat-up Atlanta fans hope when they connected for a 48-yard bomb to put the Falcons up 10-0 in the first quarter. Unfortunately, it was all downhill from there. Peyton threw 3 TD passes in the 2nd quarter, and the real Adam Vinatieri decided to show up this week, hitting a 24 yard field goal with no problems.

Thanksgiving moment watching this game was similar to: Either your Uncle Henry arguing with his mail order bride at the dessert table (in Russian), or cousin Janice getting arrested for seducing nephew Bobby at half-time. Pick ‘em.

Thanksgiving, NFL, blowouts, family dysfunction, football dysfunction, crabcakes and football

Tomorrow, the turkey day football festivities will begin where they always do - in the Motor City.  On paper, it appears we may actually have a game this year, when the 9-1 Packers take on the 6-4 Lions.  Let’s hope the Lions can keep this one close, as opposed to the last three years where they’ve lost on Thanksgiving by a combined score of 95-26.

Last year’s 27-10 loss to the Dolphins was made particularly embarrassing by the return of prodigal son Joey Harrington, who scorched his ex-team for three touchdown passes.  (Too bad the Lions aren’t playing against THIS year’s version of the Phins…)

Two years ago as I watched Michael Vick take his turn abusing the Lions defense (whoops, bad word choice there, me thinks…), I wrote the following article for my fantasy league.  I called for an end to this ridiculous tradition of having the Lions host the Thanksgiving game, and nominated a team to replace them; one with a much more storied winning tradition.  

Now while Detroit does have a winning record so far this year (in fact they’re right on pace for a 9-7 finish, just as I predicted!), you could argue that they’re the worst team with a winning record in the league.  They’ve beat up on some awful clubs, like the Raiders, Bears (twice), and Vikings.  And the Washington Redskins team that smoked them 34-3 then lost to the Patriots 52-7.  You do the math.

So I think the argument behind this article still holds true, and that’s why I’m sharing it with you today (with a few updates) on this Thanksgiving Eve.  Let’s hope tomorrow’s contest isn’t over before the stuffing’s ready.  Enjoy.

————————

Thanksgiving Day! A time when you can always count on getting together with weird family members, gorging on turkey and stuffing until you pass out, and watching the Detroit Lions lose by 30. As I sit here now, the Falcons are putting a 24-0 beatdown on them, Steve Mariucci is busy working on his resume on the sidelines, and the greatest cheer from the fans came when Joey Harrington was benched in the first half. Hey, at least they can give Grandma a call on the cell phone now & tell her to fire up the oven early.

Then again, they must be used to it at this point. The Lions have now lost 4 of the last 5 Turkey Day games, during which time they’re cumulative record is 19-56. It’s gotten to the point where the league seems to have decided; you know what? Since they’re going to lose anyways, why not have the best teams and players beat the crap out of them on national TV? The Patriots won against them after their first super bowl season in ’02, Manning torched them for 5 TD passes last year, and right now Vick looks like the second coming of ‘Sugar Ray’ Collins Fran Tarkenton.

During the debacle, my father & I had this exchange:

Me: “How long have the Lions been playing on Thanksgiving Day?�?
Dad: “Oh, wow. Since I was a kid.�? (actually, even earlier than that – since 1934)
Me: “Any idea why?�?
Dad: (Pause) “Nope. It’s tradition.�?
Me: “Doesn’t seem to be a good one.�?
Dad: “Well, they deserve to lose.�?
Me: “…why?�?
Dad: “They play indoors on an artificial field on Thanksgiving Day. That’s just wrong. They’re being punished for it.�?
Me: “Oh. Right.�?

Don’t know if the Lions deserve that kind of karma, but I don’t think their fans do. How much of an appetite would you have if each Thanksgiving Day you watched your favorite team get walloped right before cocktails? Each year, the Lions play the early game, and the Cowboys play the late one. (Update: now there’s a third game on the NFL Network at 8 p.m. EST that 90% of the country can’t see on regular cable.  Those that have the channel are most likely in a food coma by that time anyways, so let’s not even count that game…)

You can logically argue that Dallas belongs there – a team that’s rich in tradition, has five Super Bowl titles, is always competitive, and has smoking hot cheerleaders. Detroit has…what?  Barry Sanders, Slim Shady and…uh, made a ton of shitty cars? Which begs the question; isn’t it time to put this tradition to bed? The country isn’t enjoying this, Detroit certainly isn’t; it’s time for a new team to host this annual game.

So who should it be? Well, for starters, we should probably eliminate all the west coast teams. A 9:30am kick-off is probably a tad early for people to be tailgating with beer and turkey legs. It’s also probably a good idea to get rid of the real warm weather teams like Arizona, Tampa Bay and Miami – doesn’t really fit the holiday (the cheerleaders would be scantily clad, but we’ve already agreed that Dallas has the advantage in that area).

So what about the obvious choice – the Patriots? Makes sense, right? Home of the original Thanksgiving party, not to mention the NFL’s new dynasty. It’s seems like the perfect fit. One big problem, though – huge pain in the ass for all New Englanders. Hey, we’re stubborn & resistant to change by nature, now you want us to alter all the big high-school games and family plans to accommodate our beloved Pats? There would be massive upheaval, divorce rates would skyrocket, not to mention the regions collective weight from the dual tailgating/turkey dinner angle. Besides, you know what? Screw the NFL – they need us more than we need them right now. Leave our team of destiny alone.

So what we basically need from the remaining candidates are the following credentials:

- Cold weather team
- Hard-core football town
- Winning/competitive history
- Easy to alter Turkey day habits

The Green Bay Packers are a finalist, but they’ve already got the whole cheese head thing going – so you just can’t associate them with a different food group.  Same with the Philadelphia Eagles and cheese steaks.

Can’t go with the Jets - Mangini would eat a whole Turducken before the start of the 2nd quarter (besides, Jets fans all ready have their own unique tradition at home games). The N.Y. Giants are my runner-up, but the presence of one Eli Manning, sibling to He Whom I Cannot Stand, takes them out of the running.  Petty, I know.  Sorry.

Which means the perfect team to take over the early Thanksgiving Day game is:

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One of the great things about ESPN’s website redesign is the video beta section, which includes segments from my favorite show PTI that can be embedded in a blog! So now I can throw Kornheiser and Wilbon onto my site whenever they talk NFL shop, like they did at length yesterday.

In this first clip, the boys discuss the Patriots 56-10 domination of the Bills:

For starters, nice lid Kornheiser. Did you get a free bowl of soup with that?

Second, with all due respect to Wilbon, and as much as I love my Patriots, there is one area that concerns me slightly: that’s their running game. Laurence Maroney had just 19 yards rushing in the 1st half, and appeared to leave with a leg injury. Kevin Faulk was also injured, leaving the team with just Heath Evans and Kyle Eckel in the backfield. Granted, with the way that offensive line is plowing defenses over, this guy could get 100 yards rushing for the Pats. Still, they’re looking a bit thin at RB right now. Could Corey Dillon’s agent get a call this week?

In this second clip, they discuss the Steelers faltering against the Jets:

Here, I completely agree with Wilbon. The Steelers aren’t in the same class as the Patriots, but that doesn’t mean they can’t beat the Patriots. It would take a perfect game on their part, and the Patriots would have to make a few mistakes, but they match up well against them. They had a subpar effort against the Jets (did anyone else see that Brady-like last minute drive engineered by Kellen Clemens?), but they’re still a good team. I think that December 9th game is going to be a great one.

One last note regarding the Patriots; I also checked out ESPN’s Around the Horn yesterday (not nearly as good as PTI, but occasionally entertaining), and just had to laugh at Bill Plascke’s little hissy fit rant about the Pats:

“The Patriots are the epitome of swagger.” Gee Bill, I didn’t realize swagger was a bad thing in football. I guess Bill must like watching the Dolphins - Lord knows they don’t have any swagger or arrogance right now.

“They’re no fun to watch anymore.” Really? Watching football played at the highest level possible isn’t fun? Watching Brady to Moss isn’t fun? Watching a swarming defense making big plays isn’t fun? Perhaps they should play down to the level of their opponents, Bill. Like the Steelers did Sunday. He does realize this is football we’re talking about, right?

No wonder L.A. doesn’t have a team…

ESPN, PTI, Around the Horn, New England Patriots, Pittsburgh Steelers, I’m sure Belichick doesn’t like you either Plascke

If you watch enough football, you figure to see just about everything and anything that can happen in a game. Well this afternoon, we saw the Browns brought back to life after their contest with the Ravens appeared to be officially over.

Phil Dawson’s 51-yard field goal attempt was ruled no-good at the end of the game. However, the referee’s got together and correctly ruled that the ball had passed over the plain of the crossbar before bouncing back into the end zone when it hit the back support.

(and since that explanation is terrible, here’s the video:)

The win puts the surprising Browns at 6 - 4, and lowers the struggling Ravens to 4 - 6. Yes folks, it is in fact a game of inches…

Cleveland Browns, Baltimore Ravens, ricochet

I was going to spend today either discussing the unfortunate end to Dwight Freeney’s season, or the internet rumor that Brad Childress could be on his way out as Vikings head coach.

Of course, I just provided you with links to both stories, so I really don’t need to tell you about them now. Besides, how can you pass up a story call “CrotchGate”? That’s class with a capital ass, my friends.

The following picture was taken during Sunday’s Vikings-Packers game, and has been circling the internet ever since (first seen here on Deadspin). Suffice to say, one of the Cheeseheads went a bit nuts with wide receiver Ruvell Martin…

News radio 620 AM in Milwaukee started a man hunt for the handsy-fan, and if you watch the highlight reel over on NFL.com, (3:40 mark) the GameDay crew even highlighted and arrowed the act in instant replay, catching the guy with his hands in the cookie jar.

Except there’s one problem; the fan didn’t actually handle the package.

Upon further review, it’s clear to see that the fan got a piece of Martin’s upper-thigh, and stretched the fabric of his uniform so that it covered his Kibbles n’ Bits. But never did the fan actually pull on Packer pud.

In addition, if said fan had reached the Danger Zone, don’t you think Martin’s reaction would have been slightly different? By different I mean punching the fan in the head until he let go?

Too bad we didn’t have John Madden available to break this one down with the telestrator. He’s old-school and wouldn’t have had anything to do with these silly dick jokes.

(Uh…nevermind)

Anyways, so yet again we have an internet controversy that amounts to a whole lot of nothing. Well, it was pretty funny. Still, it probably makes this the most classless posting in Talking NFL’s short history. Well, OK - the 2nd most classless…

Then again, I’m sure we could fix that will a little roflbot magic:

Much worse better.

Green Bay Packers, CrotchGate, Lambeau Leap, keep your hands of my unit

With the San Francisco 49ers displaying a new level of offensive ineptitude in their 24-0 loss to the Seahawks on Monday night, this season appears to be a loss for Mike Nolan’s club. Even worse, they won’t have a first round pick in next year’s draft to help them rebuild. That pick now belongs to the Patriots, thanks to what could be the most lopsided trade the NFL has seen since the Hershel Walker trade of 1989.

In the first day of this year’s draft, the Patriots traded their first round pick (28th overall) to the San Francisco 49ers in exchange for the 49ers’ 4th round pick (110th overall) and their future 2008 first-round selection. The 49ers picked tackle Joe Staley out of Central Michigan, who has struggled so far this year.

Meanwhile, the Patriots traded that 4th round pick to the Oakland Raiders for an obscure and shy wide receiver out of Marshall.

If the season ended today, the Patriots would be getting a top 5 pick from the 49ers next April, meaning that they could be in line for a prize prospect, such as LSU defensive tackle and Heisman Trophy candidate Glenn Dorsey. So they could be looking at a deal that nets them a young stud for years to come and perhaps the most explosive wide receiver in the league in exchange for a mediocre right tackle. Nice trade, huh?

Of course, this isn’t the only steal the Patriots have engineered on draft day. In 2003, they traded their first round pick (19th overall) to the Baltimore Ravens in exchange for their second round pick (41st overall), and a first round pick in the 2004 draft. Baltimore drafted California QB Kyle Boller with the number 19 pick (which has worked out about as well as Ellen Degeneres writing her own monologues). Meanwhile, New England turned those picks into CB/S Eugene Wilson and DT Vince Wilfork (No. 21).

In 2004, they traded a second round pick to the Cincinnati Bengals in exchange for Corey Dillon, who ran for 1,635 rushing yards and 12 touchdowns that season, both career highs. The Bengals selected free safety Madieu Williams, who showed early promise, but has been frequently injured.

And let’s not forget who the Patriots got the rights to when they traded their first round pick to the New York Jets in 2000:

So a friendly word of advice to the other 31 general managers in the NFL come draft day. If you get a phone call and hear, “hey, it’s Scott Pioli with the Patriots, and boy do we have a deal for you!” I recommend you just hang up. Otherwise, you’re probably going to have this happen to you:

(Hey, who knew the WWE was that much fun?!)

NFL, Randy Moss, New England Patriots, trade, San Francisco 49ers, pantsed

Going into yesterday’s games, most NFL power polls looked something like this:

1) Patriots
2) Colts
3) Steelers
4) Cowboys
5) Packers
6-32) Everyone else

After Sunday’s contests, the top 5 teams remain the same, but with a slightly different pecking order.  Let’s take a quick look at the big games:

Packers 34 - Vikings 0

The game ball for the 7 - 1 Packers after this beatdown of the Vikings doesn’t go to Favre; it goes to their resurgent defense that held Minnesota scoreless, and their vaunted running game to just 86 yards on the day.   (Hope you have them on your fantasy team, like some smart guy suggested before the season started!)

True, the Vikings quarterbacks (Bollinger, Holcomb and Jackson) are a less intimidating trio than the Hanson brothers, but the Packers should be commended for keeping Chester Taylor and “Purple Jesus” in check.  Speaking of Adrian Peterson, he left the game with a sprained knee after getting hit by Packers cornerback Al Harris, who had this to say after the game:

“I never, ever want to see a guy get hurt,” Harris said. “You’re not proud that something like that has happened. My prayers will go out to him. I wish him the best.”

Well said, Al.  Let’s hope Peterson is back in the mix soon; he’s been a human highlight reel so far this season and is the clear front runner for Rookie of the Year.

Dallas 31 - Giants 20

“Cover-2! Cover-2!  Dude, seriously; cover yourself!”

Tony Romo continues to prove he was worth the gi-normous six-year, $67.5 million contract that Jerry Jones offered him, as he threw for 4 TD passes - 2 of them to the suddenly saint-like Terrell Owens.  Meanwhile, the Giants had penalties erase a long kick-off return and touchdown, and Eli Manning threw 2 picks.  Giants fans better hope this isn’t the beginning of a repeat of last year’s collapse down the stretch.

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Here’s a couple of videos I found that poke fun at the top two quarterbacks in the NFL. First up, ESPN’s Fitzy holds tryouts for the newest Peyton Manning commercial (because God knows it’s been at least 28 seconds since we’ve seen him on TV…):

As for Dreamboat, we leave it to LOL Jocks to spoof his newest “manly” ad campaign with Stetson:

So what’s today’s lesson, kids? If you make millions promoting crap products that nobody should buy, someone’s bound to pick on you!

(On a completely unrelated note, today’s post was brought to you by Schlitz!)

Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, commercials, audition, I’d sell puke in a sock if they paid me