Talking NFL

“Help me, Ben Roethlisberger…”

Naturally, the game that everyone is talking about this week is the Steelers vs Patriots tilt in Foxborough. There’s no question that the Steelers match up well with the Pats, featuring a tough running game led by Fast Willie Parker and the #1 defense in the league that can stuff the run game and put pressure on Brady. With unpopular New England on the home stretch of a possibly historic season, most NFL fans around the country will be passionately cheering on the Steelers.

And they’d better. Because if the Patriots win, they’re going undefeated.

Let’s take a look at New England’s remaining games after Sunday:

- Home vs Jets
- Home vs Dolphins
- Away vs Giants

Most everyone can agree that the Jets and Dolphins should not pose a problem for Belichick’s crew. However, some experts think that facing the Giants in the Meadowlands could be a tough challenge. Here are three reasons why it won’t be:

1) Eli Manning

2) The Giants cream puff schedule means they’re not that good (half of their wins have come against four of the worst teams in the league: the NY Jets, Atlanta, San Francisco, and Miami)

3) The game will probably mean nothing to the Giants

Take a look at the NFC Playoff picture; at 8-4, there’s no way the Giants are going to catch the 11-1 Cowboys for the NFC East (in fact the Cowboys just need to win one more game to clinch the division). However, they have a two-game advantage over the nearest teams competing for a Wild-Card berth.

The Giants next two games are against the Eagles and Redskins, two sub-.500 teams that they’ve all ready beaten before. Meaning that they could have the #5 seed locked up before they face the Bills in Week 16. If they have nothing to play for, will Coughlin rest his starters, or play them (and risk injury) simply to prevent the Patriots from going undefeated?

Personally, I’d rest my guys for the playoffs. (Then again, I’m a Patriots fan, so you probably saw that one coming…) Either way, I just don’t see the Giants as a major threat to 16-0. They’re certainly not as big a test as the Steelers pose this weekend.

So grab those Terrible Towels, all you haters. And if the Steelers don’t come through, well you can use it to mop up all those tears!

New England Patriots, Pittsburgh Steelers, undefeated season, New York Giants, meaningless games

Yesterday, Pittsburgh Steelers Head Coach Mike Tomlin held an emergency team meeting to prepare his players for their upcoming game against the undefeated New England Patriots. Talking NFL was lucky enough to come across some of the Patriots old tape recording equipment that was still in the Heinz Field locker room. Here now is a transcript of what took place at that meeting:

Coach Tomlin: “Listen up, everyone! (pause) First off, nice work handling Cincinnati this week. That was a big divisional game, and we took care of business in our house.”

(muffled cheers in background)

Coach Tomlin: “But we gotta put that behind us now! We all know what we’ve got to deal with this week…the best team in the league, the undefeated Patriots, on their field. Now I’m telling you right now that we match up with those guys better than anyone else, and we’ve got as good a chance as anyone to take ‘em out!”

(bigger cheers in background)

Coach Tomlin: “Now all I need from you guys this week is two things! Just two! You bust your butts in practice, and whatever you do…do NOT say ANYTHING bad this week! You understand me?”

(pause)

Willie Parker: “You mean like (explicative deleted), (explicative deleted), or (explicative deleted)?”

Coach Tomlin: “NO! I mean about the Patriots!! Do not give them ANY bulletin board material this week, you understand me?!”

Team: “Yes sir!”

Coach Tomlin: “Everybody’s been talking smack about the Pats this year! Everybody! Players, coaches, journalists, washed up cranky old guys, everybody! What morons! You know what they do after somebody talks smack about them? They rip their throats out! Hell, it happened to us before! Hines, you were there - how did that work out in the ‘01 AFC Championship game?”

Hines Ward: “Terrible, sir! The worst football loss in my life!”

(pause)

Coach Tomlin: “So why are you smiling?”

Hines Ward: “I always look like this.”

Coach Tomlin: “Whatever. The point is, do not say anything dumb! Do not insult them in anyway! Understand? Yes, question?”

James Farrior: “So I can’t get miked-up like I did for the ‘04 AFC Championship Game and just start yapping at them for NFL Films? Because that was fun! Well, until we started getting killed. Then it sucked. (under breath) Man, that was a bad idea…”

Coach Tomlin: “Absolutely not! Ugh. Look, if the media starts asking you questions, just start talking like the parents in those Peanuts cartoons.”

Troy Polamalu: “Hey, did Charlie Brown ever get with that little red-haired girl-”

Coach Tomlin: “No more questions! Just don’t say anything dumb for the next few days, that’s all I’m asking!! It’s not that hard! Is everyone with me? Does everyone-”

(pause)

Coach Tomlin: “Where’s Anthony Smith at?”

Ike Taylor: “Oh, he’s talking with some dude from the AP at his locker. Why?”

Coach Tomlin: “@#$^&%*!!”

(Tomlin sprints towards the locker room)

Alan Faneca: “Hey, you just said not to say anything dumb!”

Casey Hampton: “Dude, you think Tony just screwed up?”

Coach Tomlin: (from the locker room)
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”

Ben Roethlisberger: “Who cares. You heard coach, we just can’t SAY anything dumb. I’m getting out of here & buying a new Harley.”

NFL, Pittsburgh Steelers, bulletin board, poke the bear, Anthony Smith, DB guarantees win vs Pats, best headline ever

This week Sports Illustrated released the name of their annual Sportsman of the Year, and for the 2nd time in the last 3 years the award was given to a football player (woo-yah!).

In 2005, it was Tom Brady.  This time around, it’s 16-year veteran and Green Bay Packer icon Brett Favre who claims the honor.  A quick excerpt from the SI.com article explaining their choice (a must read for all Packers fans, like reader Cherie who writes for 451 Press’s Watching Private Practice):

When Favre decided to return for the 2007 season, even die-hard Cheeseheads must have been hoping only that he would not tarnish his legacy. What no one expected was that Favre would reinvent himself yet again, enjoying one of his best years at age 38 while cajoling a talented but callow team to a stunning 10-2 record. Along the way he passed two significant milestones for quarterbacks, overtaking Dan Marino atop the alltime list in touchdown passes (436 at week’s end) and victories by a starter (157). He trails Marino by 449 in passing yards, another mark that should soon fall.

But one record above all others speaks to what Favre is made of: his Ripkenesque streak of consecutive starts at quarterback, which stands at 249 — more than five seasons ahead of the next player on the list, Peyton Manning.

It is for his perseverance and his passion that SI honors Favre with the 54th Sportsman of the Year award.

The annual Sportsman of the Year selection always bring with it a great deal of debate and discussion after the fact.  However, it’s nearly impossible to argue with this year’s choice.  Take into consideration Favre’s lengthy career, the records he’s now breaking at age 38, the Packers 10-2 record, and the personal hardships he’s overcome, and it’s hard not to admire him, regardless of whether or not you’re a Packers fan.

However, there are certainly other figures in the NFL worthy of recognition over the past year.  Here’s a short list of other candidates who (in my mind at least) could have been named Sportsman of the Year:

Tony Dungy - Overcame the loss of his son to become the first African-American head coach to win the Super Bowl.

Tom Brady - Past winner is having his best season ever as a pro & the Patriots still haven’t lost a game (regardless of just how close they came to losing in Baltimore!).

LaDainian Tomlinson - Shattered record for most rushing TD’s in a season last year, and just reached 10,000 career rushing yards plateau.

Roger Goodell - NFL Tyrant Commissioner has certainly impacted the league with his new NFL Personal Conduct Policy and handed out tough punishments to players and teams alike.

Randy Moss - Given up for dead in Oakland, has resurrected his career in New England and leads the league with 17 receiving TD’s.

Peyton Manning - As much as it pains me to write this, Peyton did bring home a title this year.  You could also argue that he’s done more with less this season that ever before in his career.

Michael Vick - For all the wrong reasons.

Anyone else you would have nominated? Let us know in the comments below…

(AP Photo/Sports Illustrated)

SI, Sportsman of the Year, Brett Favre, Green Bay Packers

Picture five NFL coaches hanging out around the league office during the offseason:

——————————————————–

Redskins Coach Joe Gibbs:  “So I call a time out right before the guy kicks the game winning field goal.  And I’m thinking - hey, that worked out so well, let’s do it again!  Who cares if it’s legal or not?”

Saints Coach Sean Payton:  “I’m telling you guys, if you’re ever up by 3 points with just a few minutes left to go in a game; run a wide receiver reverse.  I call it the ‘Superdome Special.’  They’ll never expect it!  Hey, what could possibly go wrong?

Broncos Coach Mike Shanahan:  “I am sick and tired of hearing about this Devin Hester clown. The guys on our special teams get paid just like he does, and it’s their job to stop him!  I am going to kick the ball right at him and see what happens.”

Jets Coach Eric Mangini:  “I’m going to rat out the guy that gave me my first job in the NFL!  …what?  Karma?  F–k karma, I’m a genius!”

Ravens Defensive Coordinator Rex Ryan:  “Listen, if you ever have an undefeated team on the ropes, up by 4 points late in the game, with a fourth and short and the game on the line, whatever you do: don’t trust your defense to make a play!  Call a time out, because it will give Tom Brady a chance to regroup and make a better call than a predictable quarterback sneak.”

Voiceover:  “Bad Idea Jeans.  For coaches who should probably start getting their resumes together…”

BAD IDEA JEANS

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NFL, coaches, bad decisions, thank you Rex, 12-0 the hard way, who else had a heart attack last night?

During the Pittsburgh Steelers 24-10 victory over the Cincinnati Bengals last night, wide receiver Hines Ward set a team franchise record by catching his 64th career touchdown pass, surpassing Hall of Famer John Stallworth.

To help celebrate this accomplishment, Talking NFL presents a look back at the many different faces of Hines Ward at various times in his NFL career:

“I’m baaaaaaack!”

Don’t look now, but Minnesota has won their last three games in a row. They’ve scored four defensive touchdowns in that stretch, and run for a ridonculous 571 yards on offense (and two of those games were without the services of Purple Jesus, pictured above). At 6-6, the Vikings Wild-Card hopes are very much alive…

As for Lions fans, well it might be time to send a message to the Fords (yet again):

Photo Credits: AP Photo - Jim Mone, Ryan from MySpace

NFL, Minnesota Vikings, Detroit Lions, Adrian Peterson, Fire Millen

Today is the first day of December football for the NFL.  This year, we are blessed with five weekends of pigskin glory during the final month of the regular season.  December football is football at it’s finest - at it’s most glorious.  Teams enter the home stretch determined to qualify for the post-season “Tournament” in a quest for the chance to hoist the Lombardi Trophy in triumph.

Today, we can choose from a simply fantastic sampling of pivotal games.  It could possibly go down in history as one of the greatest weekends in the history of professional football (well, probably not, but let’s not mess with the dream right now…).

Realize that right now, fans across the country are waking with a myriad of thoughts running throughout their minds:

- Jaguars fans are looking at a very real chance to put an end to the dominance of the Colts in the AFC South, and bring their team to the forefront of the playoff race (and national media attention).

- Likewise, long suffering Vikings fans suddenly have a red-hot team that could take down the struggling Lions and place them in serious Wild-Card contention in the NFC.

- On the other side, Giants fans are wondering which version of Eli Manning will show up in a snowy and sleeting Soldier field stadium when they take on the disappointing Bears.  

- Chicago won’t be the only place where weather is a factor.  A wintry mix (as the Weather Channel likes to call it) is in store for Pittsburgh as well.  Pouring rain is predicted in Kansas City, Washington, Philadelphia, Baltimore and Carolina.  Perfect.  Football in the elements just as God intended (and fie on you Minnesota, for playing in a dome)!

- After an 0-4 start, Saints fans have hope again at 5-6 as they take on the surprising Bucs, who lead the NFC South.

- Right now Dolphins fans are waking to perhaps their best chance to avoid historic infamy.  Jets fans awaken to the embarrassment of being underdogs to a winless team.  (Don’t laugh, but this one could be the most entertaining game of the lot…)

- Browns fans are watching their team fight for just their 2nd playoff birth since the franchise was reborn in 1999.  They face the 5-6 Cardinals, who are clinging to hopes of their first postseason since 1998.

- And in Washington, Redskins fans are still struggling with grief after losing one of their most popular players.  Our thoughts and prayers are with you and the Taylor family.

December brings with it a gamut of emotions, a full year’s worth of bad weather, and the last hopes and dreams of an NFL season.  Some will be fulfilled.  Some will be crushed.  Come New Year’s Eve, twelve teams will be bound for the playoffs, and the rest will have eight months to figure out what went wrong.

(Crouches down, sniffs the air)

God, I love this sport!

NFL, December, regular season, bad weather, pigskin love sonnet