“And l Will Have My Vengeance, on This Team with the Next”
“Greetings and Salutations, good citizens of South Beach! When last we met, you vilified my name, and you buried my career. Worst of all, you robbed me of my dignity. For that offense, you shall never be forgiven.
“I have returned today to extract my revenge. To shove a dagger into the heart of your already dying team. To throw for two touchdowns and run for three others, proving that oh yes, my knee is quite functional, thank you.
“Most of all, I leave you with a lost season, and the thought of what might have been. You will wish you had loved me as I loved you. I leave you to cry and scream and curse in anguish throughout the internet, as I lead a new army onto glorious victory, crushing your hopes and dreams in our wake.”
“Am I not merciful?”
“…”
“AM I NOT MERCIFUL?!?!”
Oakland Raiders, Miami Dolphins, Daunte Culpepper, my name is Gladiator, revenge games are the balls
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