Cameron Worrell Had a Bad Day at the Office

The Worrell Household, late Sunday evening
Cameron: (enters front door) “Hi honey, I’m home.”
Mrs. Worrell: ”Oh, hello dear! How was your day today?”
Cameron: ”Actually I’d rather not talk about it. Do we have any bourbon left?”
Mrs. Worrell: ”Certainly, dear. There’s some in the hutch. Do you want me to get you a glass?”
Cameron: ”No, the bottle will be just fine.”
Mrs. Worrell: ”Oh, dear - it sounds like you had a very rough day!”
Cameron: ”Yes, you could say that.”
Mrs. Worrell: ”Well, I taped today’s game and I was hoping we could watch it together!”
Cameron: ”I’d really rather not…”
Mrs. Worrell: ”Well all right then. Let’s just watch the condensed highlights on NFL.com instead.”
Cameron: ”Great.”
Mrs. Worrell: (watching Donte’ Stallworth catch a pass and approach Cameron) “Oh, look! There you are!” (Cameron misses tackle) “Oh, and there you go. My goodness did that man spin all the way around?”
Cameron: ”I believe he did, yes.”
Mrs. Worrell: ”Why that’s just like how they do it on that Madden Video game! Amazing, I didn’t realize it looked like that in real life, did you?”
Cameron: ”Unfortunately, on the field it looks even faster than that.”
Mrs. Worrell: ”Well, you made a very nice try at tackling him, dear! I’m sure you did better later on in the game!”
Cameron: (ignores her, downs some bourbon)
Mrs. Worrell: (watching Randy Moss 35-yard TD catch) ”Oh, my!”
(pause)
Mrs. Worrell: ”Is he allowed to do that?”
Cameron: ”Do what?”
Mrs. Worrell: ”Jump that much higher than you? I know those Patriots like to cheat. Is that man Moss allowed to do that?”
Cameron: (sighs) “Yes, dear.”
Mrs. Worrell: ”Well that’s simply not fair. Couldn’t they give you a trampoline or something?”
Cameron: ”No, dear. THAT would be cheating.”
Mrs. Worrell: ”Oh, and for shame on NFL.com! The don’t need to rub it in by showing the same play twice in a row.”
Cameron: ”Actually, that’s a different touchdown, dear.”
Mrs. Worrell: ”Oh, my. You really did get taken to the woodshed, didn’t you?”
Cameron: ”What?!”
Mrs. Worrell: ”Whoops. Nothing, dear! Besides, it’s not your fault. That Tom Brady throws quite a nice pass!”
Cameron: ”Yes he does, dear.”
Mrs. Worrell: ”He’s not so bad on the eyes, either. He can go deep on me anytime!”
Cameron: ”WHAT?!”
Mrs. Worrell: ”Oh, nothing dear. (She watches Wes Welker TD) Oh, my. You couldn’t even stop the other white guy?”
Cameron: ”Can we stop watching this, please? My head hurts.”
Mrs. Worrell: ”Why? Certainly not from tackling anyone, you candy ass.”
Cameron: ”@#$%*@! WHAT?!”
Mrs. Worrell: ”Oh, nothing dear. You know I love you and support you no matter how you do or what your team record is!”
Cameron: ”…well, thanks dear.”
(pause)
Mrs. Worrell: ”It’s 0-7 now, right?”
Cameron: ”Yes, dear.”
Mrs. Worrell: ”Wow, do you guys suck.”
Cameron: ”WILL YOU @#$^&* STOP IT!”
Mrs. Worrell: ”Of course, dear. I’m sorry.”
(pause)
Mrs. Worrell: (after watching 2nd Wes Welker TD) “So just how much longer is this season going to last, darling?”
Cameron: ”Too f-ing long.” (grabs bottle of bourbon)
(AP Photo: Lynne Sladky)
Miami Dolphins, New England Patriots, Randy Moss, Tom Brady, Wes Welker, Cameron Worrell, domestic bliss
February 25th, 2008 at 2:23 am
hahahahaha very funny…