Dan Snyder Ready to ‘Make it Rain’
“Free Agency? That’s when I’m a Viking!”
With the free agent signing period ready to begin on Friday, one question is on everyone’s lips; what unitard moves are going to be made by the Skins this time around?
Seems impossible that they would be able to top last year’s quartet of overpaid losers, but don’t count on Snyder being able to resist reaching for his wallet. He has trouble keeping it in his pants. Just like Sean Salisbury.
True, he did spend $30 million on a white strong safety last season, but I think he’s ready to top himself in ‘07 with the following moves:
1) Daniel Graham: 5 years, $25 million for a blocking tight-end. Continuing the trend of signing ex-Patriots (David Patten, Christian Fauria), then completely forgetting about them…
(Note: If you’re reading this Snyder, for 1/100th of that, I’ll stand in the way of guys like Javon Kearse and get run over. I’m pushing 3 bills, it’ll at least take them time to run around me. And think of all the cap space you’ll save…)
2) Terrell Owens: 4 years, $60 million (trade from Cowboys in exchange for 1st round pick, cash, and Kim Etheredge’s “services”). Near the end of his career, this move will be more for leadership in the Redskin clubhouse.
3) Britney Spears: 5 album deal at $50 million. She’s fired up & just crazy about getting to work on a new record!
4) Tom Cruise: $100 million for team motivational speaker. “Just do that shit you did in Magnolia, Tom, without the frogs. That should work.”
Or that thing you did on Oprah, just not so gay.
Dan Snyder, Free Agent, Washington Redskins, bad, signing
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