Dickless vs. Rockhard
Time now to open up the mail-bag, and this week we’re going with a consumer warning that everyone should read, care of Dick Hurtz:
Hey, Brian! I just wanted to warn you and your readers about a product that’s being advertised on your site! You see, I was browsing some of your reader comments, and I came across this one guy called ‘RockHard’. He’s an ex-cop, and he talked about how some drug dealer tried to shoot him in the nuts with a .44 magnum! Fortunately, he was wearing the IndestructoCup at the time (pictured below), and the bullet ricocheted harmlessly off his Family Jewels, and right back at the thug, killing him dead!
I was so impressed by ‘RockHard’s testimonial that I recently purchased an IndestructoCup for myself!
Well, the other day, I was playing catch with my 2 year old son who just learned how to walk. Now, I’m a safety first guy, so I had my Indestructo on just in case.
I missed one of little Johnny’s underhand tosses, and it hit me square in my Kibbles ‘n Bits. The Indestructo shattered into a thousand sharp pointy pieces! Here’s what it looked like post-impact:
I am now a eunuch, but I’m still never using that crappy product ever again! Like I said, I’m a safety first kind of guy.
Thanks for the time, and go Jets!
-Dick(less)
Dear Dick:
Thanks for the email, and sorry about your recent loss. Have you thought of a singing career? Bet you’d make a great soprano!
Let’s Dick’s experience be a lesson to the rest of you good readers; if an unknown poster is pushing a product like “Uncle Jim’s Johnson Juice” on you, just say no! Especially if you’re a girl!
If anyone else has had an experience like Dick did with a product you’ve seen on my comments here at TalkingNFL, you let me know in the comments section, so I can hunt them down and kill them like the douchebags they are send them a polite email saying, “uh uh uh! TalkingNFL is a spam free zone, my friend!”
Happy spamming commenting, everyone!
spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam spammity spam! wonderful spam!
March 31st, 2007 at 7:44 am
Hahaha. Very classy, I enjoyed that.
March 31st, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Yeah, class wih a capital Ass! - funny though
April 2nd, 2007 at 12:08 pm
That was hilarious, very well done!
August 3rd, 2007 at 3:09 pm
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