Talking NFL

Before I get into the preview for the best weekend in football, I’d like to thank all the members of “Glorify the Past…Live for the Present” for all the fantastic hate mail regarding my WV Chargers post! Some really great (and evil) stuff; it just warms my heart. I have to give it to you guys - you brought the hot sauce! Win or lose, we’re getting to some of the more choice pieces on Monday (at least the one’s I can print).

My favorite jab so far, care of TheFranchise; “As for all the Anchorman references, you my friend, are a Pirate Hooker.”

No, no…I’m a SMELLY Pirate Hooker! And I’ve set sail for Whore Island, baby!

Onto the games:

Colts at Ravens

Imagine you were married to a gorgeous woman, and spent over 30 years with her, through thick and thin. Then, in the middle of the night, she packed up all her crap and left. No note. Nothing. You mourned her loss for 12 years, never really sure why she left. Then you married an even hotter babe, and had crazy hot rabbit sex with her for 10 years straight. And this weekend, both women will compete in a steel cage death match full of jello for your entertainment. You be pretty fired up for that, wouldn’t you?

OK, so the analogy is a stretch (especially since your 1st wife would now be around 75 years old wrestling in jello. Euh.), but can you IMAGINE how fired up the state of Maryland is to ‘welcome’ back the Colts?! When they arrive, they’d better have all their pads strapped on for this game (and I’m just talking about the fans).

Anyways, I was one week early in predicting the Colts demise, thanks to Herm Edwards putting together his game plan with a box of crayons, scissors and construction paper. But it’s happening this weekend. That Raven D is scary good, and McNair should do just enough to win the game. As for Manning…let’s say I see another 3 interceptions in his future, followed by a post-game conference where he whips out a knife and stabs offensive coordinator Tom Moore in the back. Man(ning), I can’t wait!!

Prediction: Ravens 27 - Colts 17

Eagles at Saints

I haven’t had time yet to really talk about the New Orleans Saints, but how can you not be rooting for this team and this city? I know Mangenious did a great job this year, but I think the nod for Coach of the Year should go to Sean Payton. Also, the Eagles won’t have cornerback Lito Sheppard to match-up against those young, dangerous Saints wide recievers. I think this one becomes a shoot-out, with the Saints in possession of too many weapons to be overcome.

Prediction: Saints 42 - Eagles 31

Seahawks at Bears

I think this one could get uglier than the Trump vs Rosie feud. Right now, I wouldn’t trust either of these QB’s to play a successful game of catch under normal practice conditions, let alone during a snowy game in the Windy City. The Bears D is not nearly what it was in the middle of the regular season, and the Hawks have underachieved all year. I say rookie return phenom Devin Hester is the difference, giving the Bears field position advantage all day long.

Prediction: Bears 13 - Seahawks 9

Patriots at Chargers

Gee, guess who I’m picking? All rips at the Bolts fans aside, their team is loaded, led by the record setting LT (who led my fantasy team to the title, ah thank you!). However, they do have some weakness in the secondary, which is not a good thing when you’re facing Mr. Brady. And I just can’t get past the following:

Marty Schottenheimer: 5-12 in the playoffs
Philip Rivers: 1st playoff start

I think Rivers is the key here. He doesn’t have to be outstanding, but he simply can’t make any mistakes. And he’s never played against a Belichick defense before. And what the Patriots defense does best is take away you number one weapon (in this case, LT), and dare you to win by another option. And I’m starting way too many sentences with a conjunction…

So (dammit!), the Patriots are going to make Rivers try and make some plays. If he can, we’re in trouble (the guy that really scares me is Antonio Gates, since we don’t have anyone that matches up well on him with Rodney Harrison out). But (dammit!!), I think Belichick has something special cooked up for the rookie, which will lead to at least one or two costly errors. And (nnnggghhh!) that will be the difference, and concludes a two paragraph stretch that I pray my 7th grade English teacher never reads…

Prediction: Pats 24 - Bolts 23