Talking NFL

See this?  This is the coveted championship trophy of the Fat Boys & Girls league on CBSSportsline (it’s actually a plastic Patriots football filled with Christmas lights).  While it may not look like much, I know nine people out there that are looking at it saying, “dammit, I WANT that!”  Well, knowing our league, make it eight players who are saying that, with one guy going, “wait…we have a trophy?”

Now, for those of you who don’t know what the heck Fantasy Football is, here’s a crash course care of Wikipedia.  If you’re one of the over 30 million people that all ready play (according to a 2004 Harris poll), you’re no doubt looking for any advantage over the rest of your league that you can utilize, whether you play for money, pride, or a cheap plastic trophy.

And that’s where you’re friendly neighborhood TalkingNFL correspondent comes in.  I’m here to pass on the extensive knowledge I’ve learned through seven years (and three championships…did I mention I’ve won my league three times all ready?) of playing FFL.  Why?  Because that’s what you asked for, and I’m here to give you what you want.  Why?  Because I love you.

For starters, let’s go with an over simplified introduction on how to be successful.  To win in fantasy football, all you really need is a combination of the following:

- A productive draft
- The ability to work the waiver wire efficiently
- Negotiate a good trade or two
- Luck

Yeah, let’s get that right in the open:  at LEAST 25% of fantasy football is based on (as Tommy Lee Jones put it in Batman Forever) “Blind, stupid, simple, doo-dah, clueless luck!”

It’s just like Dungeon & Dragons:  you could be a Level 14 Sorcerer, but if a Black Dragon rolls a perfect 20 on his Line of Acid attack, you’re toast.

(Uh, not that I know anything about D&D.  I mean, playing Fantasy Football is MUCH different then that geeky roll playing game, right?  Those tools dress up like their favorite characters and spend hours in their mom’s living room sounding like morons…)

OK, moving on…

So you can’t control luck, but you can master the draft, the waiver wire, and trades.  Do that, and you’ll be competitive on a consistent basis.  That’s what this regular off-season segment will look to do; give you advice and recommendations in these areas to help you get ready to kick some butt in your fantasy football league.  We get started fah real later this week…

And if you start to doubt any of the advice that I’m posting here, just remember that when it comes to Fantasy Football, I’m this guy:

(In real life, I make about 1/200th of what he makes, and have 0.0% of the power & authority that he does.  But in Fantasy Football?  Oh, yeah!  I’m a champ, baby…)

NFL, Fantasy Football, dominate, succeed, keep the noise down, don’t upset mom