I Hate Peyton Manning, Part 2
Reason Number 28 I Hate Peyton Manning: He’s a Money Grubbing Endorsement Whore.
These days when you sit down to watch a football game, you can’t even rip a fart before you see Peyton Manning plugging some schlock on TV. Whether it’s DirecTV, ESPN, Gatorade, MasterCard, Sprint, Reebok, or Sony, there’s good ‘ol #18, looking for your cash. At least the last company makes sense. I bought a Sony HDTV, and it’s amazing how good every Peyton Manning interception looks in 1080i.
Peyton, you make think this is how you look to us on TV:
But when you’re pulling in more money from ad revenue that the GNP of Zimbabwe, you really look like this:
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Since there’s no stopping the number of products you’re willing to pitch, I have a couple more suggestions for you:
1) Greyhound Bus Lines
Slogan: “Go Greyhound! And leave the driving (over my teammates) to me!”
2) Heimlich Consulting Services
Slogan: “Can’t breathe? Dial 1-800-PLAYOFFS”
“I hate seeing your goofy face in every commercial break, Peyton.”
January 16th, 2007 at 5:08 pm
I just have to ask — why do you have so much hate for a guy that has done so much good for us? Peyton and the Colts have handed us free passes to two superbowls, and also gave us countless opportunities to jump up and rejoice with each of his mistakes. Don’t forget the fun you have had talking to you your friends (you do have friends, right) about his quotes and facial expressions that usually follow the crushing defeats?
I love Peyton Manning, and I’m not afraid to admit it. He makes each of our superbowl runs ever more enjoyable.
January 17th, 2007 at 6:31 pm
This is a very good point, Dennis. And I have a good explanation, which I’ll be posting in ““I Hate Peyton Manning, Part 8”. You’ll just have to wait for that entry. Enjoy & you stay classy.
January 17th, 2007 at 9:49 pm
[…] I Hate Peyton Manning, Part 3 January 17th, 2007 by Brian Click here for Part 2 […]
January 25th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
You’re all a bunch of idiots! Manning is one of the great quarterbacks in football. You just can’t stand the fact that he’s having fun, too.
IDIOTS…. The Colts will win the Super Bowl under the leadership of Peyton Manning… Eat that!
March 7th, 2007 at 7:23 pm
[…] Back in Part 2 of my epic (boring) saga, I talked about how Peyton was a “Money Grubbing Endorsement Whore”, and suggested he make pitches for Greyhound Bus (to drive over his teammates) and the Heimlich Institute. […]
September 28th, 2007 at 4:19 am
[…] as you all know, #18 isn’t exactly on my Christmas card list. However, in light of the fact that Peyton finished this past season as a choke […]