Talking NFL

Back to the final round of Manning bashing…here’s the deal:

I saw him lose to the Patriots in the ‘04 and ‘05 postseason. I saw him lose to the Steelers last year. I’ve watched him very closely in pressure filled situations in games throughout his career, and it’s always the same: Peyton Manning doesn’t come through in the clutch.

That’s not hating, those are the facts.

The Cold Hard Football Facts.

And here lies the proof. This is a phenomenal football website every fan should have bookmarked. Might be a good idea for some of those ‘experts’ to take a peek here once in awhile as well.

What lead editor Kerry Byrne and company have done here is lay down all the numbers (regular season, post season, quarterback ratings, cheerleader measurements, etc) that unequivocally prove the following: Peyton Manning not only doesn’t play as well in the post-season as he does in the regular season, but “he reserves his worst performances for the playoffs”. This makes the site awesome for two reasons; 1) anyone who argues against these clearly defined facts can eat a big helping of “shut the f up”. 2) it means I don’t have to look this crap up, leaving me more time to surf alternate football sites like this one.

So why do the ‘experts’ continue to pick and/or root for Peyton Manning? Perhaps they feel bad for him. Perhaps they’re hoping to exorcise their own demons through him (hi, Dan). Perhaps they’ve just had enough of Brady & Belichick. Whatever the reason, their picks make absolutely no sense whatsoever when compared to the Cold Hard Football Facts.

Here’s the only parallel to this I can think of that makes sense, and I need your help. I’m going to ask you to place a hypothetical bet of at least $1,000 on the answer to the next question I’m about to post. It’s not a football bet, but it does ask you to pick one of two sides. Oh, and you have 3 seconds to make a decision.

Ready?

Here we go….
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France and Germany go to war. Who wins?

(tick, tick, times up!)

If you said ‘France’, do me a favor & go back to Colt Freaks or whatever Indiana website you came from.

The rest of you probably said something like “no fair, just 3 seconds? Not nearly enough time to empty out my ‘401k’ and take out a second mortgage on my home.” Of course you picked Germany! You probably have no idea whether the Germans still own a tank, or if the French actually have an army. But everybody knows that when it comes to war, the Germans are the best at it, while the French are the best at getting the US on speed dial so we can bail their ass out.

Just like everyone should know what The Cold Hard Football Facts knows. But guys like Marino, Ditka, and Salisbury continue to wear that faggity black hat, smoke a filtered cigarette, and yell, “Vive La France!” Well, I’ve got my money on the Patriot Blitzkrieg to keep on rolling, just like it always does come playoff time. Meanwhile, Peyton will throw 3 or 4 INT’s, chokes on a 14 oz. T-Bone steak, then rip into his wide recievers, or some other teammates after the game.

Just like he always does come playoff time.

Prediction: Pats 31 - Colts 20

And if Peyton somehow manages to cross the Rhine & plant the Colt flag in Berlin on Sunday?

Well, then I’ll REALLY hate Peyton Manning…