Talking NFL

It’s official; they’re the Evil Empire.  The Borg.  Beelzebub.  Barbra Streisand.  The hell spawn that is the New England Patriots is here to kick ass and chew bubble-gum, and they’re all out of bubble-gum…

Last night Tom Brady, Randy Moss & company dismantled an already undermanned & undertalented Bengals defense to the tune of 34-13.  The Pats average margin of victory is now 25 points over their first four games, meaning that last night that number actually went down.  Lucky for Patriots fans, Rodney Harrison comes back next week, so that should help bump that margin of victory right back up.

A few more odds & ends from last night’s contest, and the league in general…

- The Patriots next opponent (at 2-2) has a better record than their first four opponents (Jets, Chargers, Bills, Bengals), who are all 1-3.  The Pats next foe?  That would be the Cleveland Browns.  Who called that one?  
(* not raising hand *)

- Early in the game, when Bengals linebacker Lemar Marshall got injured, and Mike Tirico commented that they only had 4 healthy linebackers dressed; you could go ahead and pencil in Sammy Morris’ 100+ rushing game at that point.

- Speaking of which; just an FYI - attacking an opponents weakness is not considered cheating in the NFL.

- Randy Moss had nine catches for 102 yards, becoming the first player in NFL history to have 100+ yards in receptions in each of his first four games with a new team.  That deal with the Raiders on draft day is looking about as lopsided as the Paul McCartney/Heather Mills divorce settlement.

- With all that said, the whole “Patriots could go undefeated” talk needs to stop now.  Dear Lord Kornheiser, it’s WEEK 4!  Even Jaws was laughing at you, and he’s a humorless cyborg that studies game film.

- Also, with all the praise being heaped on the Pats, let’s not overlook the fact that the Indianapolis Colts absolutely handed it to the Broncos over the weekend.  A team that at least one sports writer was foolish enough to predict would go to the Super Bowl (* cough cough *).

So here’s your completely useless Talking NFL “Power Rankings” after Week 4:

1.  Colts
2.  Pats
Everyone else

(sorry, Cowboys and Packers fans; points off for the teams you’ve played and for being in the NFC)

As for why I’ve got the Colts over the Pats; 2 reasons.  First, the Colts are the defending champs, and old school rules mean you’ve got to knock off the champ to be the new #1.  Second, bulletin board material for Belichick & crew.

Naturally…

New England Patriots, Cincinnati Bengals, Monday Night Football, Randy Moss, freewheel burning, any Priest fans out there