NFL Draft Preview: New England Patriots
Our Patriots draft preview is brought to us by Dennis D. Dennis does not write for a blog or a fan website. In fact, he has absolutely no writing qualifications whatsoever. However, he is (in his own words) my #1 fan. The Kathy Bates to my James Caan in Misery, so to speak.
And since I’d rather not have my left ankle turned into a bowl of applesauce, I turn the floor over to Dennis without any further hesitation…
New England Patriots 2007 Draft Preview
After first reading Troy McClure’s challenge for the best draft analysis, I felt the urge to go out and dive into all of the various draft web sites and magazines so that I could offer the most thorough and comprehensive New England Patriots prediction. However, I then heard the voice of Brian in my head saying “why do any work at all if there is an easy way out?” Your lessons have not been lost on me, your most devoted of your six readers, so here is the quick analysis that I am now pulling out of my ass.
I was first inclined to predict that the Patriots would draft an ILB or Safety in the first round, but we all know that Coach B is nothing if not unpredictable. So while those positions seem to be obvious holes, I can’t see the Pats going in that direction. Another predictable choice would be another TE as the Patriots O never can have enough of `em, but in my ten seconds of scanning the draft boards, I didn’t see any tight end of note that would be available when the Pats came to draft (except maybe this one):
A more creative path for the Pats to pursue would be to draft the rights to Barry Bond’s BALCO trainer, Greg Anderson. With Greg on board, we could then ensure that Todd Sauerbrun would stay with the Patriots and sign to a long-term deal. While this would fill the hole we now have at punter, it’s a position more than likely to be available later in the draft, so I guess coach B will pass on him in the first round.
To me the clear pick that the Pats should go with now is Cindy Crawford’s mole. Admit it — the Patriots we just minutes away from going to the SB last year, and now they have blown everyone away during free agency. This team is stacked and light years ahead of everyone else in the league right now. The same could be said of Cindy back in the early 90s, but it was that mole of her that offered just enough of an imperfection so that nobody hated her for being so perfect. So, Coach B will draft Cindy’s mole, slap it on Brady’s face, and everyone will love the Patriots next year as they make their way towards a perfect season!
NFL, Draft Preview, New England Patriots, Anne Wilkes, tight end, Cindy Crawford’s mole
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