Talking NFL

There are times when I wonder if I’m being too much of a smart-ass for my own good when I rip on certain aspects of pro football.  Then the league pulls not one but two Viagra-sized PR boners within 24 hours, and I say, ah screw it - these knuckleheads have it coming…

For starters, as you no doubt heard yesterday, Peter King from SI reported that the NFL is cancelling it’s August 9th trip to China for the Patriots/Seahawks preseason game.  Not a big deal really, since the league has only been pimping the contest since last September.  Whoops.  

Sorry, no dreamboat for you.  How about spare rib?

The reason for the cancellation?  According to Mr. King:

The NFL is devoting tremendous manpower to the first regular-season game ever played outside North America — Miami and the New York Giants will play Oct. 28 in London — and the league doesn’t want to risk cutting corners on either of the massive projects in order to stage both games 11 weeks apart.

By ‘massive project’, he means having 2 teams show up to a pre-determined stadium, play a game, film it, and leave.  Doesn’t sound like Michelangelo’s David to me.  Imagine if you walked into your boss’s office tomorrow and said, “gee, you’re only giving me 11 weeks between these project deadlines, I just don’t think I can pull it off.  Can we cancel one of them and send the client back their money?”  How long would it take for him to punch you in the head?

And yes, I understand that going to China is a bigger deal, but it’s not a 3rd world country either.  2 fraternity brothers of mine were there in the middle of the anti-American protests in ‘99, and they got in & out just fine (one of them can barely tie his shoes without hurting himself).  It’s not that bad, just detour around the big-ass tanks and you’ll be safe as kittens.

But hey, what’s one preseason game when you have the release of the full NFL schedule to look forward to on Thursday right?  Uh, right?

Release of regular-season NFL schedule delayed, from Len Pasquarelli at ESPN.com:

A league official confirmed Monday that the much-anticipated announcement of the regular-season schedule, originally set for Thursday, will be delayed. The schedule could be released as early as next week now, with the roll-out coming no later than April 19.

WTF?  Well, it’s not like they planned a show around it or anything.  Oh, wait;

The NFL tentatively planned to roll out the rest of the regular-season schedule during a two-hour bloc on the NFL Network on Thursday afternoon. But an NFL official suggested to ESPN.com last week in Phoenix that a delay of that Thursday broadcast was likely, because there was still considerable work to be completed on the schedule.

The season’s been over for 2 months, yet there’s still considerable work to be done?  Who’s putting this masterpiece together?  These guys?

Yo, Goodell: 16 games for each team, 1 week off, division opponents play twice.  Not that hard.  What, you worried about when Barbara Streisand wants to play the Meadowlands?

Fu@k Barbara Streisand.  This is football.  Tell that crazy bitch she can have any Tuesday in February she wants.

Seriously, I’m not sure what’s going on at NFL HQ, but somebody break out a slide rule over there post-haste and start figuring this crap out.  I need to know when my annual trip to South Beach is happening this year…

NFL Schedule, delay, China Bowl, cancelled, Roger Goodell, I work with a bunch of monkeys