Official Talking NFL Tailgating Checklist (for Inclement Weather)
In preparation for attending Sunday’s Patriots/Dolphins game, my friends and I have compiled a checklist of necessary (and superfluous) items to bring to a tailgating party when the weather outside is frightful, but your team is so delightful that you simply have to brave the elements to watch them play.
Many of us are veterans of wild weather events, including the original “snow fireworks” game in ‘03 against the Dolphins, the ‘96 playoff game against the Steelers in fog so think you could cut it with a Cutco carving knife, and the post-season battle against the Titans in ‘04 when it was so cold that beer actually froze in the neck of the bottle before you could drink it.
This weekend, for an added twist, the forecast calls for up to 2 inches of rain within a 4 hour period in Foxboro. I’m no meteorologist, but that sounds like a monsoon to me. So we’ve altered our normal snowy weather checklist to include items that would normally be kept in the homes of families located in flood zones. By no means is this a definitive list, but it’s done our crew well since the dark days of Rod Rust, so here’s hoping it helps our brethren tailgaters here and across the country.
(Special thanks to long time reader & Fantasy Football playoff roadkill Dennis D for putting the first draft together!)
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- Grill
- Propane Tank
- First Aid Kit (yes, those 2 are together for a reason)
- Frying pan
- Plates/Napkins/Plasticware/Bibs
- Spatula
- Bottle Opener
- Trash Bags
- Tin Foil
- 20′ rope w/noose on the end (for any Dolphins fans that swing by)
- Cups
- Extra Sharp Carving Knife
- Extra First Aid Kit
- Card table
- Cards for poker
- Strippers for strip poker
- Stripper pole for strippers
- 1 dollar bills folded vertically to place in strippers-
…
(where was I? Right-)
- 6′ folding table
- Folding chairs
- Football
- iPod/speakers*
(* - make sure iPod owner has cleaned out collection of cheese 80’s tunes. Styx’s “Come Sail Away” is not acceptable tailgating music.)
- Sunglasses Swim goggles
- Warm hats/gloves Galoshes/Scuba gear
- Tickets (don’t laugh - it happens)
- Camera
- TV (to cheer on the Giants so they can mail it in next week)
- Coleman lamp
- Easy-Up Shelter
- Inflatable doll raft
- Coozies
- Cigars
- Cigar cutter
- Cigar lighter
- Chips*
(* - Lays or Ruffles family pack/feed bags are recommended. Pringles are for sissies.)
- Beer*
(* - start with real beer, like Harpoon IPA, Bass, or Sam Adams Winter Larger. Finish with the crap you see advertised during games on TV to avoid bloating.)
- Burgers/hot dogs
- Rolls/buns
- Food dish #1: Colin’s Crazy 3-Alarm Chili & artichoke dip
- Food dish #2: Deer tips
- Food dish #3: Pudge’s Peach French Toast & spicy shrimp
(Yes, we’re eating peach french toast. No, we don’t have a problem with that.)
- Bottled water
- Sodas
- Ice
- Coffee
- Bailey’s
- Jameson
- Jägermeister (so smooth!)
- Advil for last 3 items
- Frisbee
- Binoculars
- Batteries (AA/AAA)
- Pats Jerseys
- Pats Sweatshirt
- Warm coats/boots Hefty trash bags with hole cut out*
(* - the Hefty trash bag with a hole in the middle is the official rain-gear of the NFL. Accept no substitutes.)
- Coolers
- Tire Iron (just in case)
- $250 Bail Money per person (see above)
- Mapquest directions to secret parking spot
- Flag, Banner or Loud Obnoxious Tailgater to bring group together
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That’s everything. Additional suggestions always welcome in the comments. Enjoy the games!
NFL, tailgating, checklist, grilling, hope we don’t drown
December 23rd, 2007 at 1:09 pm
[...] that sounds like a monsoon to me. So we’ve altered our normal snowy weather checklist to … credit : [...]
December 23rd, 2007 at 3:06 pm
[...] that sounds like a monsoon to me. So we’ve altered our normal snowy weather checklist to … credit : [...]
March 16th, 2009 at 10:12 am
I just wanted to say that I love this site
October 26th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
I have had so many tickets in the past, I cannot believe it, lucky me I disputed some of them.