Talking NFL

For most leagues, Week 15 represents the first round of the long awaited fantasy football playoffs. Which means millions of fans were cheering on various players to lead their immaginary teams (with names like the Suited Monkey Assassins and the V@gina Squad) onto victory.

Many of them are sitting around the computer in stunned silence today.

You count on your studs to not only get you to the playoffs, but to lead you to a title. Unfortunately, many times these studs just happen to develop a hitch in their giddy-up at the worst possible time. Since this weekend provided us with a myriad of pants pooping performances (and since our beloved Fantasy Football correspondent apparently got hit by a bus around Week 4), let’s survey the damage here at Talking NFL:

Tom Brady and Randy Moss: Both came into Sunday’s game on pace to break the record for TD’s in a season at their respective positions. And there was no question they tried to hook up frequently against the Jets. Unfortunately, it just wasn’t working; Moss finished with just 79 yards receiving, Brady had only 140 yards passing, and no TD’s for either of them. In most traditional scoring leagues, Brady finished with a point total that equaled the GPA of John ‘Bluto’ Blutarsky.

20/20 hindsight: Not to beat anyone who had these guys on their team down, but honestly, what did you expect? True, it’s easy to get caught up in the euphoria of the Pats piling on points, but that doesn’t change the fact that their 2 games in the fantasy playoffs were at home - in December in New England! The weather might be better against the Dolphins, but suddenly bench warmer Laurence Maroney is looking like a better option than either of these 2 guys….

Tony Romo and Terrell Owens: The 2nd dynamic duo to fall on their faces! Romo had a career low 22.2 quarterback rating, throwing three picks and no TD’s to the popcorn munching diva. What makes this even more stunning is the fact that both players were ranked 2nd in their positions in terms of fantasy points - behind guess who and who? (See above)

As an added bonus, everyone is trying to blame the appearance of Jessica Simpson in the Cowboys press box as the reason why Romo stunk up the joint…

(hey, is that woman behind Jessica checking out her ass? Good for you! You dirty dirty old woman…)

20/20 hindsight: Well, you can’t blame the weather on this one, but you can blame the Cowboys’ opponent. The Eagles defense has only given up 16 passing TD’s this season (tied for 5th best in the league), and gave Tom Brady fits in Foxboro.

..and since this might be a trend whenever Romo’s girlfriend du jour is in prominent view of the public, perhaps it’s best to bench him in those instances in favor of someone like Kurt Warner, a happily married, god-fearing born again Christian.

As for the Eagles:

Brian Westbrook: All I’ve got to say is this; if any of you out there saw someone who was counting on Brian Westbrook to score that last touchdown, PLEASE email me with a detailed description of their reaction to this…

Personally, I would have shat myself.

Every Premier TD except Jason Witten: Jumpin’ Judas Priest, I certainly hope you weren’t counting on the likes of Antonio Gates, Tony Gonzalez, Dallas Clark, Kellen Winslow or Chris Cooley to come through for you. Jeremy Shockey broke his leg and is out for the year, adding…uh…injury to insult.

Joseph Addai: This top 5 running back had a fantasy match-up that had owners licking their chops the same way Jennifer Love Hewitt does when faced with a box of Krispy Kremes. Yet somehow the normally porous Raiders defense held him to just 44 yards on 15 carries and no touchdowns. Bad timing. Addai has it.

So if you had one (or more) of these regular season stars & now your hopes of fantasy glory is over thanks to them, you have our sincerest condolences. Just remember that sometimes the only thing you can do in the face of disaster…is laugh.

Fantasy Football, playoffs, disaster, best laugh ever