Talking NFL

Hi, I’m Troy McClure! You might remember me from such failed internet sites as “Anna Nicole Smith; on the Comeback Trail!”, “Nick Saban; Destined for Dolphin Glory”, and “Learn How to Drive with Eddie Griffin”:

Today, I’ve been paid in brand new twenty dollar bills stopped by to tell you that TalkingNFL is holding a contest that could put YOU on the front page!

But first, I need to talk with my very special friend Jimmy about the importance of the NFL Draft.  Hey, Jimmy!

Jimmy:  My name’s Timmy-

Troy:  Say, Jimmy; what was that question you had about the NFL Draft?  Weren’t you curious why it’s so important?

Jimmy: Well, not really-

Troy:  HA HA!  Sure I’ll tell you why, Jimmy.  Each year, every team looks to the draft to replenish their roster with young, fresh talent from college.  That way, then can take their old, broken down players out behind the barn and shoot them.

Jimmy:  Jeepers, mister!

Troy:  I’m just kidding, Jimmy!  Teams usually let their veteran players go with dignity and class; like in a public press statement saying that they’ve been released, or by trading them to the Browns.  

But let’s get back to the draft, Jimmy.  TalkingNFL needs YOUR help getting ready for it!

Jimmy:  Wow!  Really?

Troy:  Well, not you, Jimmy.  You’re a bit too young, and frankly, you seem a bit slow.  Fortunately, we have plenty of witty readers to help us out.  Brian is here to explain more; Hello, Brian!

Brian:  Eat it, actor boy.  Hey, gang.  Troy’s right, I’m asking for your help in the next few weeks.  You see, I wanted to thank everyone for stopping by TalkingNFL, and I figured hey, what better way than to open the site up to some readers?

Troy:  Hold on there, Brian!  No offense, but that sounds like a bunch of BS!  What’s the real reason?

Brian:  That is the reason!  …OK, fine; and the fact that my real job is kicking my ass and I don’t have time to cover the draft by myself.  There, happy now?

Troy:  And how!  So what do your fine readers need to do?

Brian:  It’s very simple.  I’m looking for 2-3 paragraphs with the following info:

- The player you hope your team will pick in the 1st round

- Who you think they will actually pick & how you’ll feel about it

- What the greatest needs are for the team (sarcasm encouraged)

- Overall thoughts on looking forward to the new season (sarcasm highly encouraged)

- Any other nuggets of wisdom (and/or comedy) you’d like to pass on

(Note for Seahawks fans - you can go with either who you hope the team picks in the 2nd round, or who you think the Patriots will take with your pick, and what gruesome injury you hope befalls that player)

Troy:  And what do your readers get for this hard work?

Brian:  Uh…the satisfaction of a job well done?  That, and a few other perks:

- Your name in lights at TalkingNFL (unless you choose to be a weenie like me & not post your real/full name)

- A permanent link to your blog or the website of your choice (within reason…)

- The person with the best team preview will receive a special gift from 451press!

(Note:  We will determine which team preview is the best by reading them all aloud to a group of chimps.  Whichever article makes them laugh the hardest wins.  As for what the prize is, I have no idea.  Considering I’m just making this thing up now & actually haven’t told anyone at 451press about it, prizes could range from a gift certificate at Amazon.com, to your very own web blog hosted by 451press, to a set of Ginsu knives.  I’ll keep you posted.)

Troy:  And were should they send their articles, and by when?

Brian:  To me at talkingnfl@hotmail.com, NO LATER THAN APRIL 13TH.

Hopefully, we’ll get one from each team that’s print worthy.  If I get multiple entries for the same team, I’ll make an executive decision on which one gets published (in other words, bribery is highly encouraged).

Troy:  Well, I think this sounds like fun for all, Brian!  Say, I’m quite the 49ers fan, maybe I-

Brian:  Don’t even think it, Troy.

Troy:  OK, then!  Well, Jimmy-

Jimmy:  Timmy

Troy:  Don’t you see now just how important the NFL Draft is to all the fans out there?

Jimmy:  Gosh, Mr. McClure, I sure was a Grade A Moron!

Troy:  You sure were, Jimmy!  You sure were…

NFL Draft, Team Preview, Contest, Write for Your Team, Get Published, Get Chicks