Talking NFL

When the NFL decided to add a 3rd game to the Thanksgiving day schedule, I’m sure part of the reasoning was that it would increase the odds of having at least one good match up. Sadly, that was not the case yesterday: every single contest was a blowout, over by the 3rd quarter at the latest.

Let’s take a look at each game & compare the ugliness of watching it to a comparable awkward moment you may have shared with a family member on turkey day:

Packers 37 - Lions 26

Having lost their last three games, Detroit is beginning to show their true colors (and they are not pretty like a rainbow). At least this match-up had some history to it. Brett Favre’s storybook season continued as he threw for 3 scores, broke a franchise record with 20 straight completions, and surpassed Dan Marino’s league record for most career games with three or more touchdown passes (63). (Speaking of which, did you know that every time Brett Favre breaks a Dan Marino record, an angel gets it’s wings?)

Unfortunately, this game wins the dubious distinction of “not as close as the score indicates”. The Packers were up 34-12 early in the fourth quarter, and though the Lions made a late charge, it came up well short.

Thanksgiving moment watching this game was similar to: Weird Grandpa Joe showing up an hour early and using the time to tell you all about his recent hip replacement surgery.

Cowboys 34 - Jets 3

Karma continues to kick the ever loving crap out of Coach Man-Not-So-Genius. Oh, and remember those preseason concerns about young Kellen Clemens? Well, nevermind (for now at least). That interception to Terence Newman for a TD was just hawful.

Of course, I’d be ashamed of any Cowboys fan who was able to enjoy that victory. You know full well that the Cowboys ran up the score by throwing a garbage-time TD on the Jets with just 6 minutes left in the game. Honestly, what were the starters still doing in there? Where’s the sportsmanship? Whatever will we tell the children?!

[/bad impersonation of d-bag sports writer]

Thanksgiving moment watching this game was similar to: Losing in the pre-meal backyard football game to these guys:

Colts 31 - Falcons 13

Joey Harrington and Roddy White gave the beat-up Atlanta fans hope when they connected for a 48-yard bomb to put the Falcons up 10-0 in the first quarter. Unfortunately, it was all downhill from there. Peyton threw 3 TD passes in the 2nd quarter, and the real Adam Vinatieri decided to show up this week, hitting a 24 yard field goal with no problems.

Thanksgiving moment watching this game was similar to: Either your Uncle Henry arguing with his mail order bride at the dessert table (in Russian), or cousin Janice getting arrested for seducing nephew Bobby at half-time. Pick ‘em.

Thanksgiving, NFL, blowouts, family dysfunction, football dysfunction, crabcakes and football