Talking NFL

You follow your team all season long: through the free agent signings, the draft, training camp, the regular season, the playoffs, and finally the Super Bowl. When the dust finally clears, if your team is the one left standing, you get to see one of the coolest sights in pro football: your heroes hoisting up the Lombardi Trophy for all to see.

It’s the purest moment in sports: these guys have abused their bodies and spent countless hours studying and practicing, and now they are given the award that officially means they are the best in their business.

As a quick side note, whenever I think of trophy presentations in general, I always go back to this image of Mark Messier being handed the Stanley Cup in 1994:

You can’t fake that reaction, and you certainly can’t duplicate it. In fact, Mark is so overcome with joy that he looks borderline psychotic. That’s why I always think of this image - because it says, “Holy sh$t! We just won the MF’ing Stanley Cup and I’m going to Disneyworld and we’re all getting laid tonight!” in just one picture.

So let’s see how the newly crowned World Champion Colts faired in their historic moment with the big silver football. Rankings are given in Lombardi’s (of course), with 5 being a Messier moment, and 1 being a ‘oh, well isn’t that nice - a football on a stick’ look.

First up, Bob Sanders:

For starters, I love the 2-handed presentation to the fans pose. Classic. And he follows that up nicely with the trophy kiss. Due to the angle & closeness of the shot, it looks like he may be taking a few too many ‘liberties’ with said trophy, but hey, he’s the new Ronnie Lott, so he’s allowed (I’m certainly not going to laugh in his face - I like my spleen where it is, thank you very much).

Rating: 4 Lombardi’s

Next up, Colts owner Jim Irsay:

This is either a really bad picture, or he’s completely hammered.

I wish we had the audio on this one, “aaaahhhhh, whas this, hah? Hah?? Thas right, ith tha freeekin Suphh Bwl Trrpphee. HA! Kisth my arss!!” Even better is Tony Dungy with the defensive ‘please don’t hit me with that’ pose, and Peyton with his head down and a ‘if he passes out, I can NOT laugh out loud’ look on his face.

Then again, if you spend a few hundred million on an NFL Franchise and you win the big one, I guess you’re allowed to ‘rock-out-with-your-cock-out’, so good for you, Jimmy!

Rating: 3 Lombardi’s

Here’s Colts offensive lineman Tarik Glenn:

Unfortunately in this shot, Tarik has all the enthusiasm of a guy picking up his order at the deli counter, then trying to fight his way back through an angry mob of waiting housewives.

But check out the wide-eyed Aaron Moorehead behind him! Rookies and scrubs always have the best looks when it comes to Championship trophies - it’s like they’re seeing a naked woman for the first time….

Ratings: Glenn - 2 Lombardi’s
Aaron - Fully Aroused - I mean, 4 Lombardi’s

And last but not least, the honorable Peyton Manning:

Now, the final truth of the matter is this: no longer can snotty little blog writers like myself call Peyton a choke-artist and incapable of winning the big one. He led his team to the promised land, and his spot in playoff history and Canton is now etched in stone. Period.

Having said that, he looks like a dink in these pictures.

And I beg ANY Peyton Manning fan to argue differently. Don’t tell me he can look however he wants, or that I’m still obsessed with hating him. The answers are; I’m not arguing that, and no, I’m not, respectively.

He just looks like a stuck-up, smug little jerk, doesn’t he? Well, OK, maybe not a jerk. But definitely a dork.

Rating: 1 Lombardi

“I hate the way you pose with the Super Bowl trophy, Peyton.”

The Lombardi Pose, Mark Messier, Indianapolis Colts, Super Bowl, Peyton Manning, yes I’m still pissed the Pats lost, blow me