Top 10 Plaxico Burress Pick-up Lines
This weekend, Plaxico Burress hit a New Jersey nightclub and struck out like a hammered freshman at the Playboy Mansion.
This got me to thinking; what could he possibly be saying to these women that would drive them away from a wealthy professional athlete? Here’s a few guesses:
10. “Did you know Plexiglas has a higher impact strength than glass and will not shatter? That’s right. So I have no idea what Shannon Sharpe was thinking calling me that, ’cause I get busted up all the time.”
9. “I only quit on half as many plays as Randy Moss does.”
8. “Hey, you’re a responsible looking ho; look me in the eye and ask me a question the way you want to ask it. Look a man in the eye before you try to drink his Dom Perignon and tell him he ain’t getting no play.”
7. “Do you like apples? I’m gonna (bleep) you in the (bleep) with a (bleep). How you like them apples?”
6. “You know who I miss? Imus.”
5. “I play with the ugly Manning brother. No, the other ugly Manning brother.”
4. “You know, you father must have been a thief, because…uh…wait, hold on (grabs notecard) because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes. WHAT? Man, that is some gay-ass shit. I’m never taking advice from Coach Coughlin again…”
3. “I got a move I wanna show ya. I think they named it after our tight end…”
2. “You know what I am? I’m like a big bear with claws and big f-ing teeth, and you’re just like this little bunny, who’s just kinda cowering in the corner. And I’m just thinking, how am I supposed to kill this bunny? I mean look at my fangs, man! GRRRRRR! Look at me, I’m a big bear! GRRRRRR!!”
1. “I know exactly how to treat a lady. I just do everything my boy Pacman Jones does. Wait…where you going?”
Plaxico Burress, pick-up lines, no game, dine and dash, big hands I know you’re the one
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