Talking NFL

With the draft only a month away (another month?  Wuh…), I felt it was high time to steal borrow an idea from my fellow 451Press blogger, the talented YouTube Digger. So today I’ll begin a periodic segment where I post some draft videos in order to start getting you all in the proper mood (by the tax deadline, I’ll have completely seduced you with my comical clips and witty banter.  You might as well give in now & start taking those clothes off…that’s right, go ahead…the KY is right there on the dresser, help yourself…)

Our first video is from the 2005 Draft, with the Detroit Lions selecting Mike Williams. This made it an unprecedented third year in a row that an NFL team decided to draft a wide receiver in the first round (now is probably a good time to mention that team president Matt Millen is still gainfully employed).  After two years with the team, Mike Williams has certainly proved that he’s hungry, but not in the way the Lions had hoped.  Enjoy (be sure your sound is cranked during Tag’s announcement for the full effect):

So much goodness to discuss:

First, Torry Holt laughing his ass of is priceless.

Second, I need an explanation from Lions fans as to what happened at the stadium.  I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt & assume that some Lions PR Bozo had the fans all worked up into a lather and ready to go nuts when ESPN went live, so you might not have been fully focused.

But if this is a live shot, are you’re telling me that not ONE of you went “wait we did WHAT?”  Or, if they didn’t broadcast the pick (which I can’t imagine), that nobody had a cell phone or blackberry to realize what had just happened?  I don’t see one guy screaming in agony, or burying his head in his hands.  I see lemmings.  Someone from the Motor City (preferably who was there) please defend yourself.  Gracias.

Finally, as for our esteemed boobs in suits analysts, that would be an 0-fer on analyzing that pick.  Mel Kiper, Jr. was in the lead for the dumbass quote of the segment (a VALUE pick?  He’s the #10 guy; he’d better have some freaking value!), but then Berman pulled a Penelope and one-upped him by putting the Lions in the playoffs.  (Believe me, we’re not done with the Swami yet in this series; not by a damn sight. I’m gonna get medieval on his ass.)

All I know is, if Jaws had been there, he would have bitch slapped them all.  I’m sure of it.

All of this, of course, coming on the heels of word that the Lions might try to go 4 for 5.  I can’t even fathom this, but if it DOES happen, Lions fans better react this way:

Sorry the video is from Fiji.  Here’s the translation:

Male Anchor:  ”Today, in a move that shocked even me, and I have never seen a football in my life, the Detriot Lions selected wide receiver Calvin Johnson.  I mean, damn, Millen - where’s your head at, boy?”

Female Anchor:  ”Matt Millen made the announcement while guarded by the Detroit Police.  However, when he finished his statement by giving fans the finger, they rushed in with the intention of killing him.”

“Millen later apologized by handing out free Playstations, and even drafted one overweight fan in the 5th round.  He is all ready slotted to replace Damien Woody.”

YouTube, NFL Draft, Detroit Lions, Mike Williams, Chris Berman, Mel Kiper, Jr., Matt Millen, Hey Mr. Ford, got any job openings?